Onion News Network

0:36

FDA Official: "Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable"
The Onion
2.3M views
1:00

Study: Alzheimer's Patients Say They Do Not Have Alzheimer's
The Onion
623K views
2:38

Reporters Blow Up Plane, Expose Security Lapses
The Onion
2.8M views
1:54

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult
The Onion
5.9M views
1:29

Horrified Subway Execs Assumed People Were Buying Footlongs To Share With A Friend
The Onion
5.5M views
2:16

Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs
The Onion
6.6M views
2:20

Is The Government Spying On Schizophrenics Enough?
The Onion
4.8M views
2:02

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
The Onion
8.5M views
1:30

Town's Teen-Pregnancy Spike Due To One Impressive Youth
The Onion
7.2M views
1:09

Female Scientists Say Domestic Abuse Not Problem
The Onion
1.5M views
10:37

The Onion's Future News From The Year 2137
The Onion
3.1M views
1:01

Ninja Parade Slips By Town Unnoticed Once Again
The Onion
4.6M views
2:46

AA Destroying The Social Lives Of Thousands Of Once-Fun Americans
The Onion
1.4M views
1:14

Army Holds Annual Bring Your Daughter To War Day
The Onion
1.9M views
1:36

Man Who Shit Pants In Grade School Awarded Purple Heart
The Onion
345K views
2:35

America's Waitresses: Are They Hitting On You?
The Onion
2.3M views
3:02

Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass'
The Onion
5.2M views
2:21

Police Officer Explains Why The Intoxicating Rush Of Murder Should Always Be A Last Resort
The Onion
409K views
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