Video Discription |
In this video, we will be talking about ways to win people to your way of thinking. If ever you find yourself in a situation where you want a person to see things the way you do then these are some of the things you can do.
These ideas are taken from the book “How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie”.
Firstly, you must welcome the disagreement, do not try to be defensive.
Do not try to prove who is right and who is wrong just yet. Be able to control your temper and listen to the other person to put his or her side of the story.
Secondly, you need to show respect to the other person. Let’s face it everyone wants to be respected, then why not give the other person respect. Try not to raise the fact that the other person is wrong even though you know the person is wrong, remember the other person also thinks he or she is right just like you do. You need to be strategic in showing that the other person is wrong without making it obvious. Instead, just say “I may be wrong I want you to correct me, let’s examine” then you continue to address the issue and let the other person think about it.
Number three, when you have found out that you are the one who is wrong, then it shouldn’t be hard for you to say that you are wrong to the other person. In this way, you are building the trust between the two of you. Now the person knows that you are both on the same page, you are not trying to prove that you are right and she or he is wrong.
Number four, be friendly. It is easier to express yourself when the person is friendly to you. In this way you want the other person to be able to open up easily.
Number five, get the other person to say yes immediately. You get this by emphasising things you both agree on.
Number six, let the other person do a great deal of talking. The person knows more about him or herself than you do, so, let him or her speak more. People love talking about themselves so let the other person speak freely and just listen. Besides if you talk and the other person still has a lot to say they are likely to no listen to you as he or she is rushing to talk.
Number seven, let the other person feel like he or she is the one coming up with ideas, let him or her to be comfortable. Remember people have more faith in their ideas than they are likely to have on yours. Just influence the half-finished idea rather than presenting final solutions.
Number eight, you must try to see things the way he or she sees them. Take time to put yourself in another person’s situation. Ask yourself how the other person is probably feeling. This is going to make it easier for you to understand the other person. When you understand the other person, now you know the right thing to say. Hang on a bit, look at what is happening here, as much as you want to win the person to your way of thinking,
You must think like that person first, then later the other person comes to think like you, it is that simple.
At number nine, be sympathetic with other person’s ideas and desires. Now, this is something you would also like, hence it shouldn’t be hard for you to do to the other person. When the other person sees that you both have a common feeling, it will be easier to open up to you.
At number ten, get the person to think of other people also not just about him or herself. When the person starts to think about other people, he or she will be able to think about you too. Now the person can be able to think about what you are thinking. He or she has moved from that zone of only thinking about him or herself.
At number eleven, put some drama in your ideas. When you dramatize things, the person is likely to get hyped up also and buy-in and start to see the bigger picture.
At number twelve, give the challenge to the person. People don’t like to lose, When you throw the challenge, the person will take the challenge and prove that he or she is capable. Now giving the person a challenge, she or he is doing what you want because this is the challenge he or she wants to win.
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